Created On: 3/10/2017 3:58:27 PMAuthor: Sr. Binita

In this modern world of gadgets and instant gratification of the senses, what is true love? How does one cope with break up in a relationship, and how to accept the situation and start a new life again? These are some essential questions which disturb our young generation. I would like to answer some of these questions which will hopefully be helpful.

How do I know what I feel is actually love? What is real love?

Love is far more than the "yaad aa rahi hai" meaning “I am remembering you” or "I cannot live without you". It is a complex emotion that touches every fiber of our being. It impacts the way our body functions, it influences the way we think and even controls how we feel about other things. All of us experience love and that is the beauty of it. It is also about accepting the other person as they are.

What do you do when someone doesn't love you back?

Love by its very nature involves a risk - the risk of rejection. Not everyone whom we love, necessarily will love us back. It is important to remember that just as no one can force you to love them, you too cannot force anyone else to love you back. Love in its true essence is characterized by mutual freedom. When someone does not reciprocate our love, it does not mean that there is something lacking in us. There is absolutely no correlation between my uniqueness and self-worth, and the fact that someone doesn't want to love me. So when someone does not love you back, it is a loss of an opportunity to that person of knowing and interacting with someone wonderful and maybe it is an opportunity for me to meet someone else who is far better suited to improving my own quality of life.

How do I deal with heart-break?

Unfortunately, this is part and parcel of the risk of being in a relationship. Since love is a very powerful emotion, it does impact us significantly when the relationship ends. Our dreams are shattered and our future seems bleak. Every person has a choice about the relationship one is in. So if someone chose to end the relationship you are in, it just means that it is the end of that particular relationship and not the end of the world. Just because one person does not want to love you, it does not mean that no one else wants to love you. The best way to deal with a heart-break is to acknowledge that the pain you are experiencing is real and to share what you are going through with someone significant like your parents or one who you feel is close to you.

Is it necessary to devote all the time to the person I’m in love?

On a humorous note, not even married people devote all their waking time with one another. I think as an adult, it is important to have my priorities right. At this age, we are setting the foundation for our future. We are learning the skills of what will become one’s career; we are meant to discover more and more of ourselves, so that we emerge as adults with a self-image. Now if we are to spend all our time thinking of the other person and being with the other person, all these other important tasks of adolescence will be left incomplete and we will emerge into adulthood significantly handicapped.

As January jumps out, February will fly in with more colorful and charming butterflies of love and affection. Be open and generous to love and care, to be accepted and rejected without losing heart, for we still have miles to go before we reach our destiny.


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